A Happy New Year to all our readers - as they used to say in the Beano.
Is it really 50 years since Biffo the Bear wrote 1961 on a wall and stood on his head to prove it read the same upside-down? Of course it was - do the maths!
Those were the days. When teachers were literate, only men had tattoos and us kids were actually encouraged to eat the fatty bits on meat because it 'put hairs on your chest'. (Worked for me.)
How different it was then. Our soldiers were fighting in foreign countries, Coronation Street was the most popular programme on TV and Cliff Richard was belting out songs on the radio. Hang on a minute - maybe things haven't really changed that much.
Anyway, here are my predictions for 50 years from now.
Having celebrated their one hundredth birthday by having the Rover's Return regulars abducted by aliens, the Coronation Street boozers are returned to Earth as if nothing had happened but the population of Weatherfield don't seem to notice that they now speak in a strange monotone and can't bend their little fingers.
Cliff Richard is preserved as a hologram and is still touring the country to packed venues.
The President of the United States of Europe declares Britain to be an offshore penal colony.
Have a good one.